Staying Stronger

How do you stay strong?

When you mind is full of memories and you want a do over.
When your body gives way to time.
When someone you love is sick and growing sicker?

How do you believe?

When your faith is tested and is graded an F?
When your hero is revealed to be a sham.
When you've been lied to.

How do you keep moving forward?

When you don't want to know what's around the corner.

You might medicate.
But you won't feel better when the medicine wears off.
You'll be the same, feel the same, struggle the same---except with more lines around your eyes.

You might follow a guru.
And if she's magical, give her my number.
But she's probably not.

You might turn it over to God.
But what does that really mean in pragmatic terms?
That you believe that something you can't see, feel or touch
in a context provided by gurus, chieftains and ancient texts?

If it works for you, this might be a good solution.
For me it's just an infinite series of unanswerable questions.

Death.  There I said it.

Can you face it?

I want to turn and see it, but not embrace it.
I want to be strong.
I want to be able to cope when my parents are dying.
Or God forbid---my children are dying.
I want to feel good as my body is aging.
I want fewer regrets.

So I'm going to write about it.
I'm going to work out even though I don't want to.
I'm going to try to only eat what really nourishes me.
I'm going to keep my mind as sharp as it can be sharpened.

I'm going to muster faith---as much as my heart will tolerate.
I'm going to simplify.
I'm not going to be a Democrat or a Republican or a Liberal or a Conservative or any other stupid label.
Life is too short for that crap.

Damnit, I'm going to be strong.
And I'm not going to be selfish.
And---by God--- I'm never going to eat shellfish.